Thursday, 29 March 2007

long time of garibaldi

captains log .............. ha! log!
after the crumbs from the broken biscuits had been blown away from my feet by a army of small elves, i had the chance to return back on course to the town in the sky known to the Saudi Arabian bush monkeys as "noosp labte" where the Turkmenistan rule of not being allowed to do ballet is over ruled by salmon of the eastern region of hairy women. after settling the war on hungry hippos, which i won, i managed to get to college and do some work on my composition on the 14Th of mars, or to foreigners as KABLAH! the two compositions are proving bastards and i now believe that the angry kitten known as terry, is beginning to tear apart the tapestry to the reindeer who now has an eye infection due to its contact lenses it had asked the badger to help it with because the reindeer, due to contrary belief doesn't have apposing thumbs. my mind is falling apart like a wet cake my mind is falling apart like a wet cake my mind is falling apart like a wet cake my mind is falling apart like a wet cake my mind is falling apart like a wet cake my mind is falling apart like a wet cake my mind is falling apart like a wet cake my mind is falling apart like a wet cake my mind is falling apart like a wet cake my mind is falling apart like a wet cake my mind is falling apart like a wet cake my mind is falling apart like a wet cake my mind is falling apart like a wet cake my mind is falling apart like a wet cake my mind is falling apart like a wet cake. this week so far after beating a vending machine for shortchanging me, and slapping a Frenchman for confuzling me with long words like bonjour and then saying wee which i now means yes, which lead to thinking of whats no? poo? and wats poo? no??? they are a strange race those from Kazakhstan. the recording session in the studio today went quite well, apart from the little machine they call a mouse, which seemed to be moving all over the place and then clicking like it had a speech disability. then on the break in the morning, the bearded pig came back to haunt me using it laser beams, but out of pure coincidence, my £2 coin was shiny enough to confuse the pig and gave me enough time to escape a third time, and to prepare for its strangeness of drinking all the tea and eating digestives through a straw made of straw. my disappointment in the jacket potato was obvious when i had eaten all the cheese from the top, when the potato itself was solid like a piece of clay in an oven with a building imprinted on it with the words p.i.e on the bottom, which i have reason to believe means either, people ingest elephants, pineapples indulged Estonia, or the less obvious, pi = e2. this dampened my esteem until i meet up with my friends the squirrels. then in the studio, the last track we had to record involved alot of movement and headphones which meant alot of work. it ended up on an imperfect cadence in the sense..... xactly. and old pieces of toast don't get eaten, so therefore we will be finishing it tomorrow. timmy??..... no...... no!..... leave the marshmallows alone!....... don't!!!! the marshmallow men are coming......... i can sense them............. their tasteful colours and the words mmmm nice still ring in my ears from the last time......... as i was saying, the meaning of pi is 3....... no Timmy, quiet......... they want the Garibaldi's........ end transmission.... o shit

Monday, 5 March 2007

when the guitar speaks you listen! comprendé??(continued)

sorry people, its late and i forget things, i forgot to say KABLAH!!!!!!! no seriously, well i did but thats not the point. i forgot to say that our new piece is our piece with the different time signature and that ive been practising some joe satriani, steve vai, metallica, and creating my own music on acoustic and electric guitars. i have also been listening to some incubus, satriani, vai, petrucci, malmsteen and rage against the machine so far this week.

now its over....... lucky you

when the guitar speaks you listen! comprendé??

. capitains log.... stargate 0.7462531 and a quarter.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
translate that!

Captains log.... stargate............. muffin.... no....... stargate march 5th.... monday........ point 6.
the marshmellow men have continued their assult on the playdough and are now regaining their weponary to advance on the kitchen table. after meeting up with satriani on the crystal planet, ice 9 (thats right i worked it out) the previous week after the solo thing we did in EO.45, which i thought everyone did awsome at, the star ship zaj-kmv returned from a long voyage to earth to chill for a bit. in the mean time i had some time to tighten up a few loose ends in my bass and guitar playing, but still need major improvments. i have also learnt a few things aswell as songs but mainly to do with the guitar itself (which i shall keep as a secret to moi. mwahahahaha). any way.
last friday was quite imense. there was alot of shit being through at various fans all over the place, and i dont mean shit as in, yea m8, your shit, but wow! dats some good shit! (see, lots of shit, but good shit). anyway, off the shit. there was alot of good shit being rocked and im glad to have witnessed it. the only downside was when i was rocking out with 'the feline monsters' and i had a king kong sac tap on the mic stand wich realy really hurt! coming down from a height of around 5 ft onto a mic stand isnt cool, trust, but before that and after that it was still awsome stuff. anyway, in the morning, the band of renegades started throwing some shit into the fan of rock and coming up with some riffs and ideas, which slowly turned into some random rocking/shred. when i say throwing shit at the fan i didnt literaly mean it mr monkey! after some well deserved breakfast from starbucks, i returned to some more intense rocking and decided to wander and have a listen to the bands in the rooms at that time (which was sadly also the sac tap time of destruction). everyones stuff is developing well and sounds awsome. after returning to the passenger seat next to tom the slayer of all scales known to mortals for the ........5...6......... 8th time and listening in to what he and sam the animal were rocking, it was lunch. this then ment calling in on mr lee of the gtar and starbucks, both matters of great importance. when i returned we went through the 2 tracks we had already created and they are now tighter and better than before. we then began on our mission from the last time we were at the rooms of immensity when we were all pretty much braindead. after centurion joeicus maximus arived from his throne upstairs to tell us we could us our tracks we composed in princess kirsy, omigoe of the great andycus guy.......icus, master of all who think that flying in circles is a good idea and that pilots should do it in boats made of spounges from the eastern coast of australia, and co-founder of the co-op.....'s lesson, tom said "we can use mine if you want", which we agreed to. it sounded awsome when he showed it to us and it was quite easy to get to grips with. i added a bit of slap bass into it and tossed some ideas at tom and the others which were elaborated on and made better.
i think we could make it a bit better by changing the rhytm on the drums and bass to make the main riff sound less repetitive, and maybe add some harmonies in or another riff over the top of the main riff. these are things we can , in my opinion improve on the track, although it isnt finished yet, these are just shit being thrown at an already pretty shitty fan but with alot of good shit not monkey shit all over it, more, rock god shit, which although it isnt nice to have shit all over the place its good because its all about the rock, not shit. in other words these are just small ideas being tossed into the ether like a strange person with an odd sock, it could be useful, but until it is with its other sock, its pretty pointless. maybe not a good similie but im sure you get the idea, their just ideas thrown around (ill stop here). there is little to say thats bad about the track so far because its not finished ant there isnt really, in my opinion. comments are allowed if you think there are things that could be made better about the track. please leave your comments on the comments bit and your address and favouritve out of fire and strange smells emitting from a fat guys arse.
overal a good rehersal!

over and out compendrés!

p.s ignore the post before this because it is pointless and has no meaning, nt that most of this does.....but still ignore it

pps sorry its so long........

shit count: 16 times

\m/(>_<)\m/
if you can translate this into english then i shall give you £1: tell me when you see me ikea has no windows

Wednesday, 21 February 2007

note to self......veg soup and tomato soup are very good............

Friday, 16 February 2007

surfing with the me

captains log........ stargate..... Friday 16th February.......... point 13621112 recurring.......
its been a short 10 days since i last posted but the memories flow like thick jelly. i have recently been practising some satriani and making random riffs, as well as eating garlic bread and drinking cake. the bear who was flying the ship left me and is now on a random planet in the fallacy on toast system, next to a little chef (they get everywhere). with Jupiter in mind on the trip back to the planet England i had a brief moment of joy as me and a compendré of rock cakes and scones (pronounced s-k-on) called kyle, rock the socks off the queens head and the plough with an acoustic set which involved some cheese, beer, chips and songs by various bands like incubus and some others. outer space is 62 miles up. on the Friday of last week which I'm sure was important, the crew of moi, Sam (second in the pool of honey), Tom (surfing his guitar through space and time to find the ultimate pigeon who can give you a maths awnser in 3.6 milliseconds and has a masters degree in English and the ability to smoke a cigar through its ear) and Alex (.............................................tea is good if you don't like coffee) were finding it quite difficult to stick with one riff in a messed up time signature e.g 3/4, 6/8, 7/sellotape. we were all brain dead except for the floating brain who had one too many pulls on the crack pipe. in the time it took us to stick with one riff, bon jovi rose and fell after releasing 6 albums and touring round Asia and America, and Axl rose found out he was actually a giant chicken, and was wearing a nappy in an interview with metal hammer.
i would like to play a bit of gtar in this next song but i don't really mind, and we could have worked better if we weren't so brain dead. I'm not sure why we were but it may have something to do with the brain slugs we had on our heads.
overall, that session was quite poor, apart from the beginning where we played the 2 tracks we already had perfectly. it sounded better than before and it felt tighter than a nun (sorry)

over and out!!!!! \m/(^_^)\m/

p.s................... hmmmmm nice

Tuesday, 6 February 2007

long week of burning cake

captains log..... stargate..........february 6th............. point 2..... crew onbored... me......and random bird possibly from england like a pigeon or a robin or a blue tit or sumfin like dat who can drive this crazy ship.....
its been a long week with hannah driving the ship to and from jupiter on the only fuel left which was melted cake substance. in my time off i managed to learn the introductions to billytalents song pins and needles and also the crowd chant on joe satriani's new album. i also recently learnt that you shouldnt give a bear a hug because they seem to get to atatched and try to make advances in your direction...... not a pretty site, as well as that but they are also quite good at snooker and darts...... anyway, the week before on stargate 3 friday 2nd of february, i met up again with the band of manya talents in the way of coffee and rock, and we began to rock some socks again, but due to my idea of nailing the socks to your shoe, ours wernt quite flying around the room moshing like last time which got a little bit messy as we had to call an abulance and do some first aid to sam's right sock as it had broken it stitching and knocked itself out. we have completely finished the flamenco track and we are still yet to hire a dancer and someone who can play the castonetes for and authentic feel, but its really good, and we have almost completed the second track which to me sounds like a spy moving into a buildingin the introduction, and then finding the most sexual rondom woman who will tell him everything she knows after a quick shag and a cup of tea and a gingerbread man, in the chorus and solos (because spies have to do this shit.....for their......... own good...NO sorry country i believe is the excuse they give. even if she is proberly the tastiest lookin bird in the pack or the only one there). i think that the track could use a little bit more variation with riffs or breaks or something like that in it or some vocals, either way it would only add to the immensity of what it already is. kinda like the moose-
a-bab which is 2 large kebabs and large chips in on meal.........amazin............. the only problem i had with the track was trying to get mr alex 'leroy' hart to slow down when he was learning the one piece he didnt know (which took a bit of time) lol sorry dude.
as a wise old war chief once said "click click, click, clock, ooo aaa la, click, do you want fries with that?" which i believe was touch my daughter again ill rip your balls off, cook them, and feed them to my horse, which knida freaked me out a bit because we were in the middle of bury eating a subway on a tractor heading to college, and i had only just met him. but more to the point im really looking forward to the consert and the solo things to because its going to be awsome.
i shall now return to my small room i call....a room.... and rock some crazy stuff and write some new stuff, and play some snooks and go down the gym, to return victorious and rock the rest of the day away.

over and out omigoes!!!! \m/(>_<)\m/
p.s listen to crowd chant, its awsome!



pps.. don't shove butterflies up your butt coz that's not nice and you could get sued




pppps. you can walk on custard





p. ill stop now

Saturday, 27 January 2007

The Day After

Captains log....stargate 2....Saturday the.....27th of January...Still in the gamma falopius star system due to turbulence in Spain and the extra weight of a cow and a big wheel of cheese..I am the lone survivour (until next week) of our mission to stay in a small cheesy scented room for 3 hours...
Yesterday we began our day by sitting on a brown leather chair with pants on it, and talking about a cover, but to no avail as we started to rock our socks off and admiring tenacious tom's new guitar which is sweet!! and i want it... anyway... we had manya ideas but we still haven't chosen one. we then went quiksy through little things in the track like the chords and adding a bass in. As stuff usually gets a little tiring and u start getting distracted by small things like how long is the longest thing in the world and what is it (no cheesy nob gags please) and could Jesus really walk on custard? i ended up leaving the big brown sofa with a butt crease and wandering between the two rehearsal rooms listening to the people rock their socks off and almost mine but i had special socks on that day which can tell you the time in Russian, Spanish and french, tell you when you need a shit and also electrocute you when you are having a heart attack, but they were malfunctioning. i then heard some tenacious d with my superhuman pigeon and managed to convince Daryl to let me play some on his acoustic. later, after the war on Iceland, i returned from battle in the town and had a listen to sum really funky stuff being rocked up in the big room of wonder...ous smell, and wonder and it was really cool and began a new game i like to call, bottle cap darts (details on bottom of page). successful shots from Adam gave him the championship belt and Affy in close second, i appallingly came 4th as 3rd was being saved for anyone else who wanted to enter who would ultimately be better than moi. after the full time mosh, i managed to piss mayor Robbie of CKYshire off by coming out of the room and shouting while he was practising (sorry dude). i then went into the small room of destruction and listened to the other band. i do believe they grabbed rock by the balls, swung it round like an aeroplane and gave it to Hitler for him to have his way with it. (translation) it was awesome like a awesome thing!
after lunch, team "I'm gonna rip your balls off and play table tennis with em and then put em up your arse so a team of surgeons have to take em out, using the power of our rock" began worky on finishing THE Flamenco track and begin a new thing......... song!(that's the one he was looking for). we developed our ideas after some metal and tried to remember what we had already done. i think it was a success and we dealt it some brownie points with yet again the man with a great plan, sir Joe of bury. once we had pretty much perfected it, we began on the new song. it is, in my opinion, beginning to be a piece of genius that not even Steven Hawkins and his saddle shaped universe could come up with..... saddle shaped? that's just him saying that in fact yes we are a saddle on the back of a giant cosmic donkey and Gods riding it up and down the galactic beach, feeding it toffee apple super novas. anyway..... it has a very funky feel to it and is quite heavy. i (captain of the starship SS more powerful than superman, batman, spiderman, and the incredible hulk put together) am on bass, tom (meister shredder, teacher and co-founder of the school of metal) scales and Alex 'lion' hart are on guitar and Sam 'animal' Collin-Arbon is on drums.
i think that the only thing not quite right with our tracks at the moment is that there aren't enough riffs being rocked up in the almigthy fashion of the songs. apart from that the songs are proving to become the eye of a tiger and the balls of a bear, or in normal terms, pretty dam cool/good.
later that night i went home listening to some Rodrigo y Gabriela and then playing some when i got in. and today i have practised some dream theater, and the new song we are doing, and will be practising some modes and scales.

peace out! \m/(^_^)\m/

Wednesday, 24 January 2007

24th December........day 5 in the blogger house......

This week i have been mostly practising............ the way of flamenco.
The blog before this only got added to today because i screwed my last post up.

Flamenco in England?

Captains log......stargate, Friday 19th January, center of the gamma-falopius star system on a rock called.....England... Crew on board - me (guitar) Tom (also guitar) Sam (drums and occasional guitar) and Alex (another guitar) - last survivors (apart from everyone else not in the room.We began our mission of composing 'the unplugged' track by shredding some metal and then thinking of some ideas e.g chord progressions. I came up with the idea of some flamenco the day before and suggested it to Alex and Tom (two kings of shred) in our music in context lesson after listening to some that morning. They both agreed with me and so this morning we began with some progressions and what we would do. Then no spooner than you could say "alguien ha robado a mi burro de hermana y lo ha convertido en el queso" (someone has stolen my sister donkey and turned it into cheese) fluently, Sam (our king of the drums and 4th king of the guitar) came in with his stuff and after showing him what we had decided on, gave some ideas and progressions of his own where I started playing drums very badly and listening to him rock. We eventually had some chav beating riffs and now drums, when Joe came in and had a listen and suggested adding some stabs in places. Doing this lifted the track and made it more lively. then when he returned the second time suggested the drums come in on the first stab and continue from then on, this way there would be a massive explosion making the track sound much better and taking it that step further.We got quite far as we had almost finished the structure of the piece (intro, verse, chorus etc..) when we had to perform what we had to everyone else. It went in my opinion quite smoothly and sounded awesome. Then people started to add some vital ideas such as clapping some of the stabs and adding a flamenco dancer in (great plan by the way!). We went away at the end of our time in the room of rock and strange smells and continued the process and tried doing a African thing but we got bored after 5 minutes.I have recently been going over the track on my own and coming up with more ideas and am still rocking out, which is a good sign.end transmition.....(wtf???)